Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Wow! Has it really been that long since my last blog?

I can't believe I haven't made the time to blog lately!  I have been busy with nothing in particular, I guess really just life.  My kids keep me busy and I work 12 hr days 5 days a week so by the weekend I'm wiped out!  There is so much on my mind lately I'm not sure where to begin or which subject to blog about really.  I guess I'll start with one and go on from there!

First things first, let me say how thankful I am that I have a great relationship with my kids dads.  I may not have had alot of financial help from my son's dad but we have known each other so long we just get along.  Its one of those things that if my son had a party or something special we would be ok sitting next to each other and just talking.  We don't hold any ill feelings and we get along and normally always have for Braylan.  Its nice.  My girls dad and I are the same way.  We chose a long time ago that we are here for our girls.  We want them to feel comfortable with us in the same room.  It works!  He and I are friends and if we talk on the phone we laugh or are just ok with each other.  I'm very thankful for that.  I have never tried to make my girls dad uncomfortable and have always tried to be respectful of his feelings etc.  I feel we need that working relationship plus I think I like him as a person more now than I did before.  There were alot of hard feelings before.  I am truly blessed with the situation that I am in but I see so many that aren't and I have to step back and wonder why.  It has never been the childs fault that the parents marriage can't survive and yet the child is the one that suffers normally. 

Lately,  I have gotten to see first hand this dynamic between parents.  T and his ex wife have a very strained relationship and I'm not sure if or when it can be remedied.  There is still so much finger pointing and when I have tried to speak to her she is sure that T is at fault for most of the break down of the marriage and their childrens problems.  I am at such a loss with all of this since I live with T I get to see what kind of person and father he is.  He is giving and caring and kind.  He does have a temper but has never lost control and he is impatient but can control that as well.  I grew up with an impatient father so I know how to work around that!  I just think it is so sad that he loses when it comes to his kids because mom is wrapped up in who did what.  T has tried so many times to try to help get his kids on track but has been told over and over again he is the cause.  The kids have been told this as well. 

I have to pray daily for healing for the kids and for T and his ex wife.  By no means is my way the perfect way but I have been so blessed in so many ways with my kids and their dads.  Did I want this for them?  No but it is the way it is and we make the best of it for them.  I'm hoping that it can be that way for T also.  I know how stressful it is and it really gets to him.  Bottom line, the kids need to feel loved on both sides and they don't need to have to pick sides.  They should never feel put in that position.  We should be respectful of the other person (even if we don't like it or them) and care enough for our kids that we get along for them.  I have seen parents these days even going so far as to not let their children speak to the other parent at sporting events when its their parenting time!  Really?  Do you not know the damage you are doing to your child?  I say its time to stop worrying so much about what's best for us and start focusing on what's best for the child.  I feel like I have ranted about this subject a thousand times!  I need to get off of it!  I think I will start thinking of more uplifting topics!  This just brings me down!  Frustrating but I feel it needs to be said and since I basically write this blog to myself hehehe  I can rant! 

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